Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Decisions (Part 1)

I had been planning on starting down the trail for a long-distance hike in the spring and moving all my stuff into my parent's basement this winter.  I'd begun to pack.  I was down to one can of beans in the pantry.  I was counting down the number of trapeze classes I'd have left.

But this last month I started feeling really uneasy about the timing.  I didn't feel ready.  The excited, happy butterflies that I'd felt at the thought of starting down the trail had turned into gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I was still clear that I wanted to do the trail, but I wanted extra time.

Then, over the span of just two days, things happened which allowed me to change my course.  My roommate told me she hadn't found anyone to take over my lease, and offered that I could stay a few more months.  At work, I discovered a very cool (AND statistically significant) result that had me bursting with excitement about my research.  And my boss found some money to extend my position.

I thought about all the times in my life when I've left things unfinished before moving on, and the other times I've stayed put way too long because I thought it was the responsible thing I "should" do.  Then I pushed my thoughts aside and went with my gut instinct: I decided to stay on here, and delay the start of my long hike.

I've noticed this past week that my life has been energized following this decision, and I've been feeling overwhelmed with appreciation of everyone in my life, and for my good fortune to have options in life.  This feels like the right decision for me, and I really hope I don't regret this decision.

1 comment:

  1. Good for you for being at peace with your decision. Glad things are falling in to place for you too. :)